A month before my 25th birthday.
A couple of days since they shut down the schools in Atlanta because of the Corona Virus. I have officially been trying to say home for four days since getting home on Thursday. I can honestly say it is one of the hardest things I have ever done.
It's official I'm an extrovert and people pleasure for sure. I am definitely taking this social distancing thing harder than I feel like I should be. I miss my freedom of being able to leave and go see whoever I want. I feel out of control in my own head. The anxiety I thought I had control over and handled is taking over my mind.
I have a thought in my head where if I don't get to see my friends or interact with people if I'm not seen I will somehow disappear.
Also being trapped in my house with my parents feels like a ticking time bomb. I'm terrified.
Truth is I'm not worried about the Corona Virus. I'm worried about my well being with no structure and me being the one to implement structure into my own life. Do I trust myself to do that? No. No, I do not.
There feels like too much time to think and overthink and RE-overthink.
I'm not scared of Corona. I'm scared of being trapped with my own thoughts.