Sometimes I wonder why my brain does the things it does. I personally just want to enjoy the moment and be happy at that moment, but then the thoughts will float in. Either I'll start thinking about things being over before they have even had a chance to start or I start questioning my own worth and validity or value in another person's life. This seems to happen frequently when I start having a crush. Why can't my brain just let me be cute with it?
Why does my mind feel the need to make me feel unworthy at certain points in time? Where did this programming come from? How can I reprogram it so I can let myself be 100% happy in the future?
I know worrying has some job to keep me safe, but I think it also keeps me in my comfort zone. If I'm being honest... I want out. Now recently I have been doing things out of my comfort zone like moving out and working on goals that I previously didn't think possible.
At this point in my life I feel like I have accomplished enough, and yet I'm not done yet. I do have a fear that I won't accomplish what I want or what I'm supposed to. I feel scared to pull the trigger or make a plan because I don't trust myself to follow through.
So here it is:
I want to go to Bail to get my YTT and be able to be a yoga instructor.
I want to go visit my friends out of state.
I want to be financially aware and build for my future.
I want to finish my RTT certification and take on clients.
I want to get my Doctorate and be knowledgeable about brain and psychology.
I want to love those around me 110%.
I want to hold myself accountable for my goals and dreams.
So was today the best day? No, but it was eye-opening for sure. I feel refueled and recharged to go for it because ultimately this is my life and I want to fall in love with every minute of it.