The therapy session I have been waiting for finally came. Last year I made it a goal to unearth my fears and anxieties in order to move forward faster and smoother with my life. I knew that I would continue with the same patterns and operating at the same level without "debugging" the programing in my head if you will. I really wanted to get to the root of my anxiety completely.
The way I see it anxiety is kinda like a fungus. Although you may only think it's affecting one part of your life it actually has spread roots into multiple different facets, nooks, and crannies of your life. The deepest root is the anxiety or fear itself. You can spend years trying to fight each mushroom as it comes up, or you can follow the roots and find the source.
Today I found my source:
I'm afraid of doing something wrong without knowing I'm doing it wrong.
For example this blog. I'm afraid that someone may think I'm doing it the wrong way, with the wrong format.
Symptoms: Overthinking, Not thinking I'm good enough, Not taking opportunities that I want to take, Not speaking up for myself, Avoiding certain things that I feel like I may do wrong.
Long Term Side Effects: Never following my passion or my purpose with the risk of failure.
What to do now that I found the source?
Good question. Face my fears. Know that making a mistake isn't the worst thing in the world and that I can recover from it. Be gentle on myself figuring it out, but also push myself to dig in deep and get the root of the source out.
Good thing about fungi? Their roots are never that deep.